This is the Robocop I fucking know!
DAFUQ IS THIS?
DAFUQ IS THAT?
YOU THINK THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING GAME????
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JOSE PADILHA?
WHO THE FUCK IS JOEL KINNAMAN??
OK YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU!
OK I think I'm fine now.
No, no really it's Ok.
I'm fine.
OK now I'm relaxed.
So why am I so angry? Tis simple my friends. My most beloved childhood movie is FUCKING RUINED. I don't even want to talk about this new shit. Don't even gonna discuss about it. Here. This is for you Robocop reboot!
Instead what I am going to talk about is why the first Robocop is the one and only Robocop movie. One of the best cult action movies of the '80s.
You know what? I wasn't even born when it came out! I was born in 1988! And my parents allowed me to watch that movie on TV when I was like 5 or 6. You know what? Because it was cool back then!
I HAD ROBOCOP ACTION FIGURES! YES! Action figures of a brutal murdered! HOW AWESOME COULD THAT BE?
So I'm gonna name down the main reasons this movie was teh SHIT!
1. The soundtrack
Come on you know that this melody is stuck in your mind!
Here. Enjoy. Let it on fucking repeat!
By the way you know who wrote it? A greek! Basil Poledouris!
2. Peter Weller is the best dead guy!
I mean the piece of skin that plays Robocop's face is the most dead part of skin imaginable. I mean the guy's face was simply the greatest to appear artificial and dead!
3. Dead or alive you're coming with me.
I mean the puns! One of the most memorable puns of all time! Want something other memorable?
There you have it.
4. That ridiculous assistant Murphy has.
Which only knows for like a day by the way.
Nancy allen.
I mean look at the guy...
5. My personal favorite. GORE.
I'm still haunted for the incredibly gore scenes I witnessed as a young boy on Robocop. The gore was tremendous. I am so thankful for that.
I mean every time I see the movie I come to an orgasm like this.
FUCK YOU PG-13!
